Growing up we all have this idea or vision of how we will be as a parent and when we actually reach motherhood that idea has gone out of the window.
I was sat reading something the other day about how a friend of mine had posted a picture saying with title of I’m not the best mum but I’m the best I can be, and this got me thinking what is the best mother? Who’s to say what constitutes as that of being a great mum?
I’m sure as women when we was younger we all had this idea of motherhood being all smiles and rainbows (weren’t we wrong) and then when you get a little older and begin to experience more of life you see this is not the case, but you still think you’ll be the best mum around.
You go out to dinner with a friend and see a child carrying on shouting and generally misbehaving and you mutter to your friend when I have a child I won’t let it do that. Oh my friend how wrong are you. You mutter these words because you have the idea in your head that you will be the perfect mother and you will have the perfect child, but 9 times out of 10 it’ll probably be you dealing with an upset child carrying on and someone will else will be muttering I wouldn’t let my child do that!
But what are we actually measuring ourselves against here? Our vision we had in our heads or the outside world? How celebrity mums always seem to have their sh*t together, these mums on Instagram whos children are walking around all pretty and well behaved whilst yours are covered in dirt and chasing the dog? Or maybe even your own mum? I remember looking at my mum in such admiration when I was younger, we was all happy, the house was spotless, we was cared for and she made it look so easy. Yet now I’m looking at myself thinking when it this going to happen to me? When will I get my sh*t together and everything comes so easily?
But want to know a secret?
It already has! You just don’t know it. Your too busy comparing yourself to other mums you don’t already see your perfect just the way you are to your children. I know if I was to sit my mum down or my mother in law and say how did you do it? How did you cope and make it look so easy and natural the response would be something along the lines of “Easy? You’re joking right? I never stopped or had a second to myself, you just get on with it and do your best!”
Mothers go above and beyond for their children all in their own way and just because someone else seems to do it all with ease doesn’t mean in actual fact they are. What’s that saying about a duck and paddling?
“ Be like a duck, on the surface remain calm but underneath paddle like hell”
That’s exactly how it is for all mothers. We all just learn as we go along. We all find it overwhelming and difficult. The best thing to do is to comparing and judging each other and enjoy the ride. Not a single women alive has given birth and known exactly what to do and never had to ask for help and guidance, so instead of judging or being afraid to talk to each other, do the opposite! Talk help each other out, share kindness and advice.
We have no idea where we are going or how in fact we will get there, all we know is we do our best by our children and sometimes a helping hand to help things go that little bit more smoothly would be appreciated.
Don’t you agree?